Finding the Puzzle Pieces
As I started working with clients to obtain my coaching certification, I noticed a recurring theme arising, even amongst clients in varying stages of life.
Most of us, especially women, struggle to get everything accomplished in a day’s time, a week’s time, or even a year’s time that we would like to accomplish. And even though we are active and busy and, on a lot of days even overwhelmed with things to do, there are still a lot of things left undone that we view as meaningful to our well-being or life fulfillment.
Why does this happen?
Why is it so difficult to live the life that deep down we know we want and deserve?
A life that is balanced with family, work, friends, family, community, physical and mental health, etc. should not be so hard to obtain, but for many of us, it can be. And the unfortunate part is that it seems to get more stressful to manage all the responsibilities as we progress through life. Kids going to college, job expectations growing as we climb the ladder, slower and aging bodies, relationships growing apart…
Is there any hope?
YES. The truth is transformation is possible at any stage of life! Isn’t that wonderful news?
By setting intentions and taking intentional action, you can redesign your life to align with your true purpose and find greater fulfillment.
Imagine every chapter or phase of your life as an opportunity to create a unique puzzle that fits together all the facets that make you, you. The pieces of that puzzle are the areas where you spend your time – for example, career, raising kids, time with your spouse, significant other or friends, hobbies, spirituality, community, physical health and exercise, mental health and self-care, traveling, etc. And as life shifts, there are opportunities to replace a missing piece with a new piece. For example, after the kids are grown, there is more time for traveling or gardening or whatever hobbies you might like.
Sounds easy enough, right? Just put the puzzle together with the things that are most important to you and voilà, you have a fulfilled and happy life!
Is it really that easy?
It depends. One issue many of us face is the puzzle fits together just fine if you leave out physical and mental wellness as two priority pieces in your life. But leaving out these two important areas can lead to anxiety, loneliness, stress, body image issues, and in some cases depression.
Why is it that so many of us have great intentions to take care of ourselves and to put ourselves first, until anything gets in the way of meeting that goal? “Well, I planned to go for a walk today, but then I got a work email,” or “but then I needed to take my child to their activity,” or “but then the day got away from me and now I need to make dinner.” So many obstacles in the way. Then without a second thought, we put ourselves on the back burner and attend to everything and everyone else, repeatedly until there is a sense that there will never be time to make “me” the priority.
We juggle so many things, especially as women, that it's no wonder we sometimes feel like we're not living up to our full potential. We feel like we’re doing everything “less than”, and that in turn affects our mental well-being.
As for me, I spent many years trying to be the perfect employee, perfect mom, perfect wife, friend, sister, daughter… the list goes on. My cup stayed close to empty, and nothing ever felt good enough, no matter how hard I tried to do everything the way I thought it needed to be done. I constantly felt overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, and even isolated and lonely.
Another issue many of us will face during our life is it feels like there is something missing, but we have no idea how to find it. Sometimes we are handling everything just fine, but it feels like we are going through the motions with no sense of purpose or direction.
But what if you could create the puzzle that brings meaning and happiness back into your life for whatever stage you are in?
Goal Setting as a Stress Reducer and Life Balancer
One way that I have been able to fit all my pieces together over time is to make my physical and mental well-being a constant priority in my life. It has taken me years to really understand the effects of what goal setting has truly done for me. But the good news is that it doesn’t have to take years to build good practices that will enrich your overall well-being.
For many years, the fear of heart disease is what led me to push myself physically. Family history of bad hearts on both sides of my family had me scared to death that if I didn’t stay active, I wouldn’t be around for a long life. So, I started running in my 20s. I signed up for a race, and then another one, and then another one. And as the pattern emerged, I realized over time that I was happiest when I was in training. I ate better, I focused more, I was more active, and I was overall healthier. During times of significant overtime at work, or in the early years of my son’s life when I needed to focus on him first and stopped taking care of myself, I noticed that my stress and anxiety levels would be at an all-time high. Sometimes it was unavoidable, but the truth is that we really can make time for activity on most days if we focus on it. And there are always “better” options for food choices if we try. So now, it is an ingrained habit to prioritize my activity level and my diet so that I can remain my best self.
Running is not for everyone, and I totally get that. But there are ways for everyone to improve their physical and mental health on some beneficial level. And that’s why having a coach for guidance, accountability, and support can be a great addition to your life. You can think of me as a sounding board, cheerleader, listener, and partner all in one! I am a fan of looking at natural, realistic ways to improve the balance in your life.
I help clients set goals that align with their values and teach them to manage their time effectively to design a life that truly reflects who they are and the vision they have for their life.
How Can I Create “My” Puzzle?
I know what you’re thinking. “My life is good. I have so much to be grateful for. Maybe I should be at peace that this is as good as it gets and stop complaining.” Sound familiar?
Have you ever stopped to think about what your life values are? Like really stopped to wonder if you are intentionally making decisions towards a life that would be the most meaningful for you? Would you even know how to figure that out if you wanted to?
Many of us are so busy just trying to take care of our families and paying the bills that we have completely lost sight of what are actually the most meaningful things to us.
Here are some tips to help you get started on living a life with intention:
Think about an area that you wish you could improve in the next three to six months.
Imagine your future self with that change that you desire. Really imagine it, like almost wishing it into existence.
Set a challenging but realistic goal that aligns with the change. This should be a goal that excites you every day to be working towards it.
Think about a small step that you can take in the coming week to begin to see that change happening. True progress is made by baby steps taken each week, and not trying to eat the elephant in one bite.
Hold yourself accountable to the step by writing it down, putting reminders in your calendar, journaling, telling a friend, etc. to make it real.
Pay attention to how you feel when you follow through with the step. It should feel great and make you want to try a little more!
Reward yourself when progress is made. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing, but positive reinforcement is a powerful tool to keep moving forward.
Always remember to be kind to yourself. Progress is a journey, not a race.
Repeat the above steps for other areas as desired or take additional action steps towards your one big goal.
Soul Searching
Sometimes the path to your fulfillment is not the path you were expecting it to be. I worked with one client who was positive that the way to a happier life was to take a leap of faith and change career paths. After a full self-discovery process with me, however, she was able to see a different path to her happiness that had nothing to do with changing careers.
One of my favorite techniques to help clients figure out what is most meaningful to them is to explore the times in their life when they were the happiest and most fulfilled. It’s a trip down memory lane and many times things pop into their head that they weren’t expecting at all! By digging into the subconscious to explore the feelings of some of the happiest times in your life, you can begin to piece together what should be incorporated into the next chapter of your life. It's enlightening and quite fascinating!
The Intentional Butterfly
Are you ready to transform your life with intention and become the balanced, beautiful butterfly you were meant to be? As a wellness and empowerment coach, I’m here to guide you through life’s evolving puzzle pieces, helping you discover your values, set goals, and find fulfillment at every stage of your journey. With my guidance, you can transform and grow into the best version of yourself. Just like a butterfly goes through a metamorphosis to become something beautiful, you too can transform your life by intentionally choosing the unique puzzle pieces that bring you joy, balance, and overall wellness.
Some of the puzzle pieces that I help clients address include career, relationships, personal growth and development, health and wellness, self-care, family, spirituality, community involvement, hobbies, and more. Each of these pieces plays a unique and important role in your life, and it's important to give each one the attention it deserves to achieve a balanced and fulfilling life.
It's worth noting that these puzzle pieces are interconnected, and progress in one area can often have positive effects on other areas. For example, making progress in physical fitness can lead to improved mental health, and strengthening personal relationships can lead to greater fulfillment in one's career.
Together, we will take a holistic approach to your life and explore all the puzzle pieces that make up your individual story. We'll work on overcoming limiting beliefs, tackling mom guilt, finding work/life balance, and addressing any other challenges that may be holding you back. Living a life with intention can reduce anxiety and improve your overall well-being naturally.
My mission is to help you unlock your full potential and empower you to live the life you've always dreamed of. The pieces don’t have to overwhelm you - let's work together to create a beautiful picture. Whether you're going through a major life transition, feeling stuck in a rut, or simply looking to live a more balanced and fulfilling life, I’m here to support you every step of the way.