I was having a conversation with a friend recently, and she was talking about how excited she is that a commitment that has taken up a lot of her time over the past two years is about to roll off her calendar and she is finally going to have some of her time back.

It got me thinking about my own experience with this phenomenon. I have also gone through times in my life where I was totally consumed with planning a big event, or training for a big race, or studying for a test or certification, and all I could think about was “when this is over, I am going to have so much extra time in my days!”

Last year, I decided to create my first vision board. I always heard about them, but I had never been interested in making one for myself.

I’m not exactly sure why, but probably the main reason is that I never considered myself creative or “crafty.” Also, in my mind I’ve done pretty well setting and achieving my goals, so putting images on a board seemed overkill and unnecessary.

I used to cringe, just waiting for the question whenever I met someone new.  “Oh wow, you look just like that actress… what’s her name?”

And then the conversation would typically involve me trying to help the person figure out who it was that I looked like.  Because I clearly didn’t look like ME, I looked like someone famous. It took a toll on my already low self-esteem and self-worth because I felt like no one saw the real me under the superficial surface.  That led to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and depression for many years to come.

When I first got certified as a life coach, I was excited and optimistic. I enjoyed the coursework, my peer classmates were great, and the practice coaching we got to do was everything I had hoped it would be. I felt armed and ready to go change lives!

Then one day, out of curiosity, I got on the internet and googled the search “what percentage of life coaches are successful?”

A thought likes to pop up from time to time in my head, and I wanted to discuss it in hopes that it can help others find mental peace.

The thought in particular is about how necessary (or unnecessary) it is for our mental health for us to be able to say everything we want to say before a relationship ends, and for the other person to acknowledge that in some way.

My body was trained for the run, but nothing can prepare you for the way the bottom of your feet feel when you have pushed so far beyond what a normal amount of activity is.

At times like these, when you’re pushing past comfortable, the brain starts doing interesting things.

As I was driving in my car a few days ago, I heard a song on the radio I had not heard in a long time. Immediately my heart started racing, I felt clammy and uncomfortable, and quickly changed the station. I’m pretty sure I have done the same thing every other time I have heard that song over the last 35 years because it takes me back to my first real heartbreak as a teenager. Raw, emotional, devastating heartbreak.

My husband loves to say to me “if only you could see yourself through my eyes…”

He thinks I am way too hard on myself, and I know that he’s right. I have set a really high bar for myself as far as expectations for how I look, how I communicate, how I define success in my career and in my relationships, and how I show up in general to people. It has been this way for as long as I can remember, probably since I was a teenager.

How long would you keep reaching for a goal if it just wasn’t happening for you?

One month? Six months? A year? Five years??

Probably depends how badly you want it, right?

You’ve probably heard the phrase “third time’s a charm,” right? It suggests the idea that sometimes the first couple of tries fail, but if you are willing to try again, that third time will be your “charm” or lucky break.

Well, I am living proof that sometimes that third time has nothing to do with luck.

Most of us, and especially women, struggle to get everything accomplished in a day’s time, a week’s time, or even a year’s time that we would like to accomplish. And even though we are active and busy and, on a lot of days even overwhelmed with things to do, there are still a lot of things left undone that we view as meaningful to our well-being or life fulfillment.