Third Time’s A Charm: The Power of Intention and Determination

You’ve probably heard the phrase “third time’s a charm,” right?  It suggests the idea that sometimes the first couple of tries fail, but if you are willing to try again, that third time will be your “charm” or lucky break.   

Well, I am living proof that sometimes that third time has nothing to do with luck.

I’m in my third career and my third marriage and nothing about either of these two areas of my life has been easy or lucky.  Rather, it’s been more about disappointment and heartbreak, picking myself up over and over (and over) again, never settling, and fighting like hell for the life I wanted. But it’s all been part of my story and I’m so happy I kept fighting for me.

Life is a journey filled with twists, turns, and unexpected detours.  Along the way, we often find ourselves facing new challenges, making difficult decisions, and even starting over.

Things worth having usually require intention and determination rather than luck.

In this blog, I want to share a little of my story and touch on the power of intention and determination in achieving our dreams.

Embracing Change

Think for a second about an awesome thing you’ve gotten in your life, like a dream job or a dream relationship.  Or that thing that happened to you that felt like it was everything you wanted, like buying your first home, starting a family, or achieving a goal you had been working towards.

Remember that feeling when it felt like things were falling into place? You were living the life you wanted for yourself, and it felt good, right?

For as long as I can remember all I wanted was to be a wife and mom. I was very motherly with my three younger sisters, and I felt made to be a mom to a big family.  My fate would take me through many twists and turns though, and I was 35 years old, twice divorced with no kids.

A lot of days my life felt sad and empty and meaningless. That isolation was deep and dark. I was just going through the motions of life, getting up to work so I could pay my bills.  I did not enjoy my career as an accountant, and I could not find the meaningful romantic relationship I so desired.

Fast forward to now, and I have a 15-year-old son and a wonderful third marriage. I know that the only reason I have either one of them is that I didn’t give up on myself and my dream of becoming a wife and a mom.  The fact that I went from a life at age 35 when I’d come home from work and just lay on the floor crying for hours to the life I have now blows my mind.

I changed accounting jobs many times, just hoping that the next role would be “the” perfect role for me, and I could stop endlessly thinking “Is this as good as it gets”?

I kept putting myself out there, I kept picking myself up, and I kept focused on what I wanted. My heart could have been so jaded after the way many relationships ended, but I didn’t let that harden me.  And I could have easily ended up a mediocre employee who just cruised through life, but I didn’t.  I kept giving each employer my best, all the while hoping each job would be the one that would fulfill me.  None did.

I wholeheartedly believe that my son was my reward for everything good I did in my life. He was a miracle given to me to help me never lose hope again. And I thank God every day for that gift. His biological father had other plans for his life, so he walked away while I was pregnant and didn’t look back until my son was almost 10 years old and I was engaged to be married to my current husband. But even that was short-lived and he walked away for good. My husband adopted him, and we are the three pieces that fit perfectly together. I desired a companion and a dad for my son, my son needed a dad, and my husband needed both of us after losing his only child to brain cancer 6 years before we met him.

When you understand what’s important to you, it’s easier to make a plan and start working towards making it happen.

Change can be intimidating though, especially when it involves shifting careers or starting a new chapter in our personal lives. However, it is often during these periods of change that we discover our potential and understand what’s truly important to us. Embracing change wholeheartedly allows us to break free from the familiar and explore uncharted territories.

By recognizing the need for change and discovering the courage to pursue it, we set the stage for transformation and growth. Intention creates a roadmap that helps us navigate the challenges, setbacks, and distractions along the way, reminding us of what matters. And determination is the fuel that propels us forward, enabling us to push through adversity, overcome setbacks, and stay focused on our desired outcomes.

The Corporate Grind

I was an accountant for almost 25 years before I decided to shift gears and go back to school to get a paralegal certificate to supplement my education and attempt to assist lawyers with my financial background and legal education. I was so excited to change careers! However, after close to a year of applying for probably 200 jobs, talking to countless recruiters, and updating my resume a dozen times to fit a particular job, all I had was a broken heart after making it to second choice on final rounds of interviews multiple times. It wasn’t meant to be but dammit I wasn’t giving up!! I even interviewed 6 rounds with a law firm downtown that I was POSITIVE was the perfect fit. I would be assisting a prestigious set of lawyers with high-end mergers and acquisitions. But nope, they went with the younger, inexperienced paralegal probably because she had a lot of room to grow with them.  I did end up with a few contract roles doing paralegal work, but none of them led to the permanent employment I was seeking.  I was looking for “my place” and I wasn’t finding it.

So back to accounting I went. Reluctant but determined to find my place. I worked in contract roles, permanent placement roles, small, big, public, and private companies. I did it for several years before I finally told my husband this isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m isolated to a keyboard with hardly any interaction with other people. My career felt empty and meaningless, and I believe I am on this earth for something more!

Having the opportunity now to coach other ladies who may be struggling with putting the right pieces of their puzzle together is a dream come true.

Conclusion

No journey worth pursuing is without obstacles.  It is the presence of challenges that tests our commitment.  Each job/ career change, each relationship, and each decision I’ve made has taught me invaluable lessons about the importance of staying true to myself.  By embracing the lessons, I’ve been able to design a life for myself that aligns with my values and brings me happiness and fulfillment.

Is there something that you’ve been missing in your life?

What have you done to go after it?

Have you given up or are you still fighting for it?

True success is a product of intention and determination.  By embracing change and setting clear intentions, you can be on the path to pursuing what truly matters to you.

If you need help determining your path, I’m always here for guidance, support, and accountability.

The third time can absolutely be a charm, and it likely has nothing to do with luck.