Time’s Illusion
I was having a conversation with a friend recently, and she was talking about how excited she is that a commitment that has taken up a lot of her time over the past two years is about to roll off her calendar and she is finally going to have some of her time back.
You could see the excitement in her eyes as her mind was full of all the ideas where she’d spend her extra time!
It got me thinking about my own experience with this phenomenon. I have also gone through times in my life where I was totally consumed with planning a big event, or training for a big race, or studying for a test or certification, and all I could think about was “when this is over, I am going to have so much extra time in my days!”
I would fantasize about alllll the things I was finally going to have a chance to do when my schedule freed up, but I don’t really remember any of those things actually happening.
I’m sure everyone can relate to this experience in their life as well.
What I have come to realize, and maybe you have too, is that we don’t in fact get any “extra” time back.
Total bummer, right?
The reality is that the hustle and bustle of everyday life is enough to keep us busy, and if we don’t make a plan for what the meaningful things are that we want to get accomplished, they simply don’t happen. It’s easy to go right back to “normal” life, consumed in the day-to-day craziness, without factoring in anything extra.
Why is This?
Well, to be fair, after we’ve been consumed by a large event or a major time sucker, we are tired. The first thing on our mind when we have capacity again is not typically “I sure love being crazy busy. Let me hurry up and fill up my schedule with too many things I can’t get to!”
At least I don’t recall ever saying this!
Next, in all likelihood, we’ve probably also gotten behind on the things that could be pushed to another week or month, so most of us are looking at a looming to-do list as soon as our schedule has now freed up.
Also, most of us don’t realize how many things we chalk up in that “as soon as XXX is over I am going to make plans to do YYY” category, and now all of a sudden there are way too many things to do again.
Thinking about something “just for me” on top of all of the above may sound overwhelming, unnecessary, or selfish. But the truth is, our mental health is dependent on us finding joy in our day-to-day lives. Without anything meaningful or fulfilling included in our days, we are merely surviving.
And I believe we are meant to thrive, not just survive!
When it’s a Priority, We Make the Time
The simple truth is, when something is a priority and it’s important to us, we find the time. We can be totally busy with all of life’s craziness, but if a loved one needs us in a moment of crisis, or if all of a sudden, a really fun outing or trip becomes accessible in our near future, we find time to make it happen.
So the first step is to realize that finding something meaningful just for you is an essential aspect of mental well-being. It should be a PRIORITY.
Then, be one step ahead and anticipate the “normal busy” time and have a plan for how to incorporate the things that are the most important to you.
When you start having those thoughts of “if I can just get through this busy time then…”, that’s when you need to start planning where you want those extra hours to go.
That might be starting or ramping up a plan for better physical health, planning to visit family or friends more, personal development with an online course or book, learning a new hobby, planting a garden, volunteering or getting out in the community more, joining a book club, or countless other things!
Life is full of beautiful experiences waiting to happen, so don’t wait to figure out what’s waiting for you!
As an empowerment coach, I love to help my clients figure out what is missing from their lives and build a plan for incorporating these meaningful things into their life. I also love to help sort through the obstacles that may be standing in the way.
Pieces of the Puzzle will Fall into Place
If you aren’t sure how to figure out what might be missing from your life, here are some ideas to get your creative juices flowing:
Create a vision board. By flipping through magazines, you may be inspired by images that help you figure out the direction you’d like to go in the future.
Reflective journaling. Jotting down notes as they come to you can help inspire fresh ideas. This may also help you see patterns emerge for what might be missing from your life.
Attend workshops, read books, listen to podcasts, or connect with people who have lifestyles or values that resonate with you.
Ask for feedback from trusted individuals who know you and may have a perspective you haven’t considered before.
Experiment with different hobbies, activities, or lifestyles to see what feels right. Sometimes, it's through exploration and experimentation that we discover what truly fulfills us.
When we can build our life’s puzzle intentionally by focusing on the most meaningful pieces first, everything else has a way to fall into place around it.
And this is a path to joy, fulfillment, purpose, balance, and mental wellness!
If you would like more information about working with me, you may contact me at pam@intentionalbutterflycoaching.com. I would love to talk to you! And if you’re in Sugar Land, TX, the conversation has the option to be in person.