Weaving Gold from Threads of Struggle
Typically as I am driving my 15-year-old son to school at 5:30am for early morning football practice I am not fully awake, so I am just listening to the radio softly, drinking my coffee, and watching him snooze next to me (every minute of sleep counts, right?). Today, I noticed a runner wearing a lighted running vest and pushing a jogging stroller while he ran. I was transported back in time to when my son was in the first few years of his life, and I was a single mom. And a runner.
I still remember that Christmas season of 2007. My son was almost one month old, and I had not been on a run in over six months. Prior to pregnancy, I had been an avid runner since 2001, but about midway through my pregnancy in 2007 it was no longer comfortable to run so I stopped.
By the time December came, I was itching badly to get back out there, but I was recovering from a caesarean and was not cleared yet to exercise. Finally, in late December, I was over at my mom’s house, and I remember asking her if she would look after Josh so that I could go for a short easy run in her neighborhood. She was more than happy to spend some quality time with her new grandson!
Even though that was almost 16 years ago, I can still remember the feeling of freedom as I took that first run without a care in the world. The air was crisp, but not too cold. Perfect for running! It was heavenly.
Over the coming years, it was a balancing act every day to work, take care of my son, and exercise regularly. It was just the two of us with the biological father not in the picture at all. I had to get creative with my workouts in order to get them done. I tried exercise videos at home since I could do that before he woke up or after he went to bed without issue. Running is my first love though, so I did try to run as much as I could with Josh in a running stroller with me every chance I got.
But when he was around 4 years old, he had outgrown the running stroller, I was in no financial situation to buy another one, and he was nowhere near the age to be left at home alone for me to go run without him. I wondered if I would have to give up on my love of running until he was old enough to be at home alone.
Getting Creative
Have you ever faced an obstacle when trying to achieve a goal?
Did you let it stand in your way, or did you find a way to keep pushing forward?
It’s easy to give up when we don’t see a clear path to success anymore. Our brain requires more energy to come up with an alternative plan, so deciding that the goal isn’t important any longer may seem like the path of least resistance.
But when things get tougher, that is when we should try HARDER not to give up.
Why?
Because achievements mean more the harder you have to work for them. When things come easily, they are often taken for granted and don’t feel as much like a win. Those aren’t the things that change you from the inside out.
Sidenote: I have been surrounded by “fast” runners for 20 years, and although a lot of them have worked hard to increase their pace, others are just born to be faster runners. I could either choose to be frustrated that other people seem to glide across the pavement with little effort and give up on my goals, or I could focus on the steps needed for me to be the best runner I can be. I choose the latter. And I have felt the sweet victory when I reached the goals that were attainable for ME.
When we compare our path to success to others, we may lose excitement about our own goals when we see that other people seem to have it easier.
So back to working hard for your own achievements… when my son was young and I was doing everything I could just to work and take care of him on my own, it would have been so easy to give up on my physical health. No one would have blinked an eye at that decision because most people know it is difficult to manage a toddler along with your own physical health, especially if you are also working a full-time job.
But something in me couldn’t let go of the fact that I had worked so hard in the previous six years to get to where I was. I didn’t want to lose it!
That stroller situation when he was around 4 years old was tricky. Somehow, I made it through the next couple of years either getting him to curl up in the stroller with a book, bribing him with a sweet to have on the way, or driving him to my mom’s house and running in her neighborhood.
I refused to give up on myself and the progress I had made, and that determination helped me come up with creative ways to keep it going! And I’m still going strong almost 16 years later!
Pushing Past the Roadblocks
Here are some strategies to try when you’re stuck and trying to see to the finish line:
Visualize your end goal and work your way backward, identifying the steps needed to get to your destination. This can provide clarity on the right path forward.
Imagine yourself as an advisor giving advice to someone facing the same obstacles. This shift in perspective may reveal some new insights.
Pick a random word unrelated to your goal and brainstorm how it could somehow be connected to your obstacle. This may trigger unconventional ideas.
Reach out to others with relevant experience to help you generate new ideas.
Use guided visualization to mentally work through the obstacle.
Divide the obstacle into smaller, manageable parts. Tackle each part individually to gradually overcome the obstacle as a whole.
Shift your physical surroundings to stimulate new ideas. Take a walk or visit a different space or location to help change your perspective.
Try different approaches even if they seem unconventional. You never know what method will turn out to be the most effective one.
Draw inspiration from unrelated disciplines. Apply concepts from other fields to your situation for fresh ideas.
Create a fictional story or scenario that involves overcoming your obstacle. This may help visualize potential outcomes you haven’t thought of before.
The goal is to think outside the box and explore options that may not be immediately obvious. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different approaches. Sometimes, the most unconventional ideas lead to the most creative breakthroughs.
Summary
Remember that falling down and picking yourself back up to keep going results in personal growth. And that growth gets you one step closer to your goal. And when you finally get that success, it’s the best feeling ever!
Be intentional with your actions. That means that if you run into a roadblock, find the detour, and KEEP GOING! Your mental wellness will be improved with every small success.
I would love to help you create the goals and all the creative steps to get you where you want to go, so please contact me at pam@intentionalbutterflycoaching.com if you would like more information.