Did Someone Say Trigger?
As I was driving in my car a few days ago, I heard a song on the radio I had not heard in a long time. Immediately my heart started racing, I felt clammy and uncomfortable, and quickly changed the station. I’m pretty sure I have done the same thing every other time I have heard that song over the last 35 years because it takes me back to my first real heartbreak as a teenager. Raw, emotional, devastating heartbreak.
Because of the way that particular person treated me, it wired me to believe that I was not worthy of a healthy romantic relationship. And because of that belief, I spent the next 25 years settling for less than I deserved, and I continued to not be treated well by most of my partners. I experienced years of insensitivity, negative and toxic behavior, and lots of abandonment by the ones I chose to spend my time with.
My belief system caused me to be less than my best self, and I know I showed up needy and insecure. That trigger kept replaying the story in my head, and the more I heard it, the more I believed it.
Triggers
We’ve all experienced that moment when a sound, a smell, a thought, an argument, a memory or even a song on the radio brings us involuntarily back to a past traumatic event or memory and we immediately feel uncomfortable and unsafe. We may feel anxiety or panic and may react as if the trauma is happening all over again. The reaction in the brain to a triggering event is very similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and strong negative emotions may arise.
In most cases, fortunately, the triggering event and feelings pass, and we resume life as normal until the next time we are triggered.
But do we really go back to life as normal?
What if your trigger is actually holding you hostage, and keeping you from reaching your full potential? Your trigger may have you convinced to believe something about yourself that is not true at all.
In my case, it took years of self-discovery and personal development for me to rewrite my story. I had to completely change my belief system about myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to get triggered! Even after all this time, and even after all the work I’ve done. You better believe I’ll never listen to the song I started to hear a few days ago, and I will avoid other triggering thoughts or memories at all costs.
But the good news is that those triggers no longer hold me hostage, and I feel free to grow to my fullest potential.
Glimmers
Did you know there is a word that means the opposite of trigger, and it’s a positive thing? The word is glimmer and I love it!
These are moments in time that are positive, and when we seek them out, our brains can start to think more positively. And this can lead to greater mental wellness over time.
Examples of glimmers are petting an animal, smiling at a stranger and seeing them smile back, experiencing nature or a spectacular scenic view, or listening to a song on the radio that is tied to a fun memory or favorite person.
Recognizing glimmers over and over can begin to rewrite your story. It doesn’t negate the triggers, but it can help rewire our brains for a more positive outlook on life. And when we have a more positive outlook, we can have a more fulfilling life.
Identify Your Triggers and Change Your Life
Here are a few tips for releasing yourself from your triggers:
Develop self-awareness about what triggers you so that you can recognize it and respond to it in a more rational way.
Seek out the glimmers that are all around you.
When you feel a trigger pulling you down, stop, take a deep breath, change your thoughts, meditate, journal, exercise, or call someone you trust to divert your attention to something more positive.
Develop positive coping statements, such as “I am safe,” or “I can handle this.”
The most effective strategy for coping with triggers may take time or some trial and error, but always remember to be gentle with yourself and keep exploring new things until you find what works for you.
For those dealing with complex trauma or serious triggers, it is recommended to seek professional assistance from a therapist or counselor.
Summary
Triggers are a fact of life for most people, and unfortunately, there isn’t an easy way around that. But there is hope for not letting those triggers hold you back or write a story about you that simply isn’t true. Be intentional with your pursuit of positive and happy thoughts and experiences to offset the negative ones, and you’ll be well on your way to a happier life where the story reflects who you know you are deep inside.
Working with me as your life coach can also help you to work through limiting beliefs, rewrite your story, and empower you to move forward to being the best version of yourself.
Please contact me if you would like more information.